Giddy up!

It’s been a while since my last blog post and as Alex eloquently described I’ve been living each day to its allowable fullest.

About a week ago, as delivered by Alex, we began Stem Cell harvesting which luckily only took one day.  Alex and her sweetness alluded to the fact that this was due to me being me, although humbling and sweet, I relate it simply to my age and lifetime of fitness.  I appreciate her perspective howeverJ

The week up to the harvesting I will say was tough.  The shots intended to boost my immune system as well as boost my stem cells had its effects.   Honestly the restriction from any physical activity was probably the worst.  As we all know I find deep pride, satisfaction, and self fulfillment from working out.  That reality stripped from me, coupled with the constant headaches and flu like symptoms, rivaled any of the hard times in previous bouts with this disease I battled.

Anyone who has had the flu understands how shitty you feel.  I’ve fortunately have had to endure similar symptoms with a lot more on my plate in the military.  These experiences and lessons learned allowed and continue to allow me to sail these ugly seas with a perspective I consider lucky to have only by disposition. 

The scenario that occurred, harvesting my cells in 4 hours, left the docs and my team with a few options.  I could expedite the process and get admitted on Thursday the 19 of this week or simply wait for the planned arrival time of Sunday the 21st.  Contrary to what most would think, I collectively made the decision to wait until Sunday for a few reasons.  Firstly it would allow me another 5 days to prepare myself physically and mentally for the coming weeks ,which is paramount in my mind to successful passage.  Secondly, my parents were arriving on Thursday and were looking forward to spending a few days with me before the onslaught;  as  I was looking forward to the opportunity  to enjoy them.  And lastly it would give Alex and I a few more days to live a normal life before the unfortunate reality of 24/7 IV tubes and constant drug therapy.  Pretty easy decision in my mind.

The last few days have been tame in comparison to the past 6-7 weeks for me.  I’ve been still struggling with fatigue and weakness from the flu symptoms and the oversized additional line placed in my left pectoral region to effect seamless stem cell harvesting  so my activities were extremely limited.  No self pity or depression just the acceptance of my fate and pushing through each day with numerous naps, copious narcotics and focus on having tasks to complete when able for self gratification, typical of OCD/Type A personalities. 

A few light workouts were had, but nothing compared to the previously alluded gym regiments.  I’m comfortable with this disposition knowing that my preparation physically and mentally rendered another victory over my common foe.  I look forward to the process of getting it all back shortly.  This time I'm far ahead of my previous two excursions and am confident I will maintain a solid base while in the hospital.  The staff is pro activity which bodes well for all parties:)  

Today, Friday the 19^th, Alex and I attend a 2 hour class in final preparation for admission for the final treatment including chemo, stem cell transplant ending with recovery.  Very little was new information, but a few tid bits actually had me thinking, dam this is a big deal.

Directly, it is going to take my body and its new stem cells upwards of 1 year to rebuild itself with a functional immune system.  All vaccinations from child hood along with the numerous required while in the military will be wiped from my person.   The tough fight here is ensuring my team and I are diligent beyond means to ensure I’m clear from any scenario that could render me susceptible to any infection or sickness of any kind because my immune system will be severely compromised for some time. 

I’ve been here before, never to this degree, however my empirical knowledge and experience have built a foundation of confidence cemented with humility that will allow me to make this flight. I have prepared for the unknowns with the determination to make the cruise successful and faster than expectedJ

Up front ,I will more than likely be restricted from air travel for 6-12 months.  I will do my best to shift this left, but now having a woman who holds my heart, my zealous nature must be reigned in and filled with intelligent calculated decisions that manifest safe travels beyond personal desire or comfort.  Easy decision once againJ  No big deal, I can drive anywhere, I was simply thinking about a jaunt to the Caribbean this fall.  Oh well I’ll get it sometime next year.

Sunday is the day I check in and Monday begins 6 days of the toughest chemo I’ve had yet, or so they say.  The drug market has made the effects of these pharmacologics very easy to deal with.  The one fact I will hate is being locked up tight like bubble boy for 3 weeks.  I’ll deal, shit I spent 12 months in a shitty middle eastern country filled with plenty more variables that made the possibility of death a constant.

After chemo, one day of rest followed by the delivery of my cleansed stem cells.  From there it’s the process of ensuring my body accepts and begins the rebuilding process with nurses and doctors focused on ensuring my organs don’t fail, I’m safe and clear of infection and that modern as well as archaic medical practice works.   Once this is a reality I will be released. 

From there, around mid August, will begin the long, but exciting process of starting anew once again with the 50/50 statistic of complete cure rate with this methodology.

Here I sit near the precipice of my third Everest amidst a horizon full of pain, discomfort, fatigue, restriction, and daunting unknowns , so what is on my mind and how do I proceed?  I live strong and attempt to die hard as I’ve done for 32 years.  What’s the other option, capitulation, self pity, doubt?  Not in my bag.  Grab it by the balls and keep rolling, it’s the only way I know.

Cheers to all and remember to hold the one you love close tomorrow and be aware someone out there has it worse than any of us do.  Perspective my friends, so many don’t have it.

A medicine all too often not prescribed:)